Revised from January 2018 Series
In our last blog, we discussed the importance of Letting Go of Our Children. Please see the Series on Letting Go of various aspects of our lives: relationships, children, dreams, career identity, prophecies, and others by using Letting Go “Search” on our Contact Page.
“Letting Go” means to ENTRUST into the hands of the Lord, to surrender control of, to relinquish power over, and to TRUST the Lord with.”
ONLY in Letting Go will our minds, emotions, and wills, find rest, and cease to struggle.
Today, I want to focus on Letting Go of relationships. One of the most difficult challenges I found in my own life is Letting Go of relationships. We have a desperate need to be: loved, understood, respected, appreciated, and feel secure… our Papa made us this way. For these reasons, we place these expectations on others to fill and they can’t… they weren’t created to, Jesus was. I hope you heard me. We were created with deep and intimate NEEDS, but our Papa through Jesus Christ can fill them, not other fragile, human beings, who are just dust, who are trying to find their way like us. We place our demands on others, hoping these relationships go smoothly, especially those who are close and dear to us like our spouses, children, friends, and family members. Our desire is, “Let’s Just Get Along!” Instead of getting along, our relationships seem to fall apart every time we think they are fixed. We weren’t created to fix each other… that’s the Lord’s job. He is the Savior of the world, the Restorer of human souls, and the Lord of His creation… we aren’t. If we aren’t careful, we manipulate each other, play on each other’s emotions, become passive-aggressive, and greatest of all, controlling. This is the enemy within us, the flesh. Instead of turning to the Lord with our needs or desires, we turn to the flesh to get our needs met. We try to control others’ behaviors by ignoring, belittling, bringing up the past, trying hard to get them to see how we see it. We focus on their negative behaviors rather than the positives, accusing, and talking down to each other, or saying “if it were me,” pounding them with scriptures to convict them or change them, and other tactics to get our way. If you have tried any of these tactics and they work, then you have mastered using the powers of darkness to get your needs met, congratulations! If you feel good about doing this and others around you are happy you used these tactics, there is one who isn’t happy… Jesus Christ our Lord. His desires for us is to Let Go by entrusting these relationships to Him.
Today, I want to share what it really means to Let Go. I have used the poem below in my counseling sessions for years, I hope it is helpful.
- Get a sheet of paper or write in your journal your account of the situation you are struggling with. (Dear Jesus, I am stuck… I feel…. I try to… I thought you would… Now I… I expected…) share the grief, loss, pain, anger, fear, hurt, disappointment, whatever they may be. Get it all out, Jesus already knows how you feel. He wants you to share it with Him.
- When you are ready to move forward. Acknowledge to the Lord what you want to do with this situation. Hold on to it or Let it Go. (You have a choice, but think about how much pain this is causing in your life and how you are unable to find peace or rest in this situation).
- If you are ready to move forward, Forgiveness must take place. Jesus has already forgiven you and others of ALL their sins and offenses. Will you forgive others, the Lord, and yourself for the painful past?
- Write down the offenses and how they made you feel.
- Write down your disappointments or expectations of the person.
- Choose to forgive them for the pain, hurt, neglect, not meeting your expectations without expecting any apologies in return.
- Tell Jesus, I give the offenses to You (He is their judge, not you). Release the person from the debt of owing you anything.
- Grief and Loss – Write a letter to your loved one or pet and tell them how much you miss them. Recall the good times and bad times you shared. Forgive yourself and them for any pain you caused each other. When you have shared your heart, then you must say, “I release you into the arms of Jesus now, I must move on from this place. I love you, You ARE HIS.” AMEN
- When you have shared your heart with the Lord, then willingly say to the Lord. This circumstance, love one, whatever it maybe is in YOUR HANDS NOW… I trust you Lord Jesus to complete the work in my heart that we just have begun. AMEN
One of my favorite sayings of all times is, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” The statement immediately above was attributed to Richard Bach who wrote the enormously popular inspirational work “Jonathan Livingston Seagull.”
Jesus has set us ALL FREE to love and be loved, by Him first, then by each other. Some loves we shared were only for a reason, some for a season, but the ones that return to us after entrusting them to the Lord Holy and Healthy, are for our Lifetime… so enjoy them with His grace!
Prayer: Thank you, Lord Jesus, you are the Savior of the world and the Lover of our Souls. Not one of us can change the heart of another, but You can. I trust you today with my lost loved ones and all of those who are near and dear to me. I give them to you this day, I don’t want to manipulate, play on their emotions, become passive-aggressive, or throw out spiritual jargon to convict them to get my way and if I use fleshly tactics in the future, please convict me and show me. AMEN