THE SEARCH BEGINS AND ENDS IN CHRIST WITHIN
Our lives begin and end with a search for Truth and meaning. Our Father put this thirst and hunger for Himself within us. As we have discussed in previous blogs, we spend a lifetime trying to experience fullness and completeness. It appears nothing and no one can satisfy us. For this reason, we spend a million moments, a million dollars, and a million heartbreaks trying to quench this thirst and fill this hunger of our souls. St. Augustine, an African Priest, wrote this confession centuries ago as he described his search for Truth and Life.
In his desperate search, He confessed, “Father, The light I saw was not the common light at all, but something different, utterly … You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.”
I wrote a song in 2005 which expressed my sentiments as St. Augustine.
THE SONG OF ST. AUGUSTINE
Copyright © 2005 by Tresca S. Grannum
Lord, I went wandering like a stray sheep
Seeking you with anxious reasoning weighted within me
I wearied myself, in looking for you without
Yet, you had Your habitation, Your dwelling place within me
Here you are abiding so sweetly in me
Here you are my fortress, my Lord, my strong tower
Here you are living in your glorious, majestic kingdom
Living your holy life in and through me
If only I had desired You and panted after You
I went around the streets and squares of the cities
Of this world and in this world, I found you not
Because in vain I sought you without and You were within.
No worldly wisdom, carnal pleasures, or money or fame
Can fill the canyons of my soul where my Lord and Father remain
Within me, yes nobly within me
Like most of us, he was searching for God to be without (outside of him). So he feasted on books, thousands of books. He thought God was in doing, so he worked hard to please God. He thought God was in ministry, so he was zealous in all of his works for God. He thought God was in fellowship, so He spent all of his life being faithful in his relationships with his brothers and sisters in Christ day in and out. St. Augustine, longed to know the God and Father of the Universe. He strived to be the best man he could be and do all he could do to please God, to little avail. He prayed to the heavens hoping God would come down and visit with him or to the statues of Jesus and The Virgin Mary that stood in the places where he worshipped. Then, one day in his search he began to see the Light of Christ flickering in his soul. As he began to turn inwardly to still himself and behold the Light, he witnessed a beautiful change in his heart and soul. It wasn’t because of all of his efforts, it was because he turned from external things and began to behold the Lord who sat and waited patiently in his spirit within.
If you have read any of my blogs, my focus is always trying to help you discover the beautiful Lord Jesus, Father, and Holy Spirit living within us and the Amazing Kingdom that is ours 24 hours a day. What a sad and awful ending to a wasted life not experiencing or seeing the Kingdom of God Jesus placed in our hearts when we gave our lives to Him. We come to the end of our journey and all we gained was just knowledge of, glimpses of, and knowing about Him.
Paul prayed for the Ephesians 1:18 in the Amplified Bible, he said:
And [I pray] that the eyes of your heart [the very center and core of your being] may be enlightened [flooded with light by the Holy Spirit], so that you will know and cherish the hope [the divine guarantee, the confident expectation] to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance IN the saints (God’s people).
Prayer: Father, thank you, for HOME within me. I can turn inwardly every second of the day to gaze into your beautiful face and grace. I can behold the loveliness of my Lord Jesus and find comfort and truth in the light of my Holy Spirit within. The Lord Jesus IN ME, IS THE ONLY Jesus I will ever intimately know and be known of. Amen