JESUS OUR HIDING PLACE

 

In this blog, let’s take a deeper look at intimacy and why intimacy feels so foreign to us. Intimacy is a scary thing we dread with a vengeance! Why? Because we have been used, abused, discounted, rejected, betrayed, etc. No wonder when Jesus makes promises to us or even prove to us how much He loves us, we still will not open up fully to Him. It reminds me of us having a beautiful house, with a big yard, enclosed by a barbed wire fence, or a cement fence that is higher than trees. As one ventures through the cement gate with a metal detector and an alarm, two Dobermans, three German Shepherds, and a Pitbull greet you before you even think about walking to the porch. Even Jesus had a hard time getting in, right? For some of us, we were desperate and welcomed Him into our house, even though he had to press through the guard dogs. And others, Jesus stands at the door and we talk to Him through the peephole. No, we don’t mean to be that way, but we have TRUST ISSUES and He knows it. Here is another perspective. Some of us have invited Jesus into the front room of our lives, but He is not allowed to go into certain rooms of our hearts because of the clutter of pain He would find. We would rather read the Bible a bit, go to church, get involved in church activities, watch television, work our fingers to the bone, rather than letting Jesus live in all of the rooms of our hearts. But here’s the funny thing about it all, He already knows we have TRUST ISSUES and knows about everything hiding in the rooms of our hearts; that’s what makes Him more determined to reach out to us, USING THESE BLOGS… because He knows. Let me share one of the ways I kept my distance from my Lord and wouldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable with Him; I hid from Him. Yes, I hid from Him and did not consciously realize it until He revealed it to me. Here’s one story of many.

 

 

When I lived in Pensacola, Florida in 1985-1989, that was the place that Jesus pursued me like a hound dog. Whenever I felt lonely, sad, or anxious about life, I went shopping. I spent hours in the stores and bought a lot of ‘stuff’ to fill whatever I was feeling. I could not understand exactly what was wrong. I walked in a store and the SALE signs would call my name; the terrible thing was, I didn’t want them. But if I touched IT… whatever IT was, IT jumped into my arms and begged me to carry it out the store, and I mostly certainly obliged. I could not stop shopping whenever I felt this feeling inside of me. One day, my husband Tony, decided to give me an allowance of $10.00 to deter my spending. You would think that would stop me, but oh no, I started shopping at Goodwill and came back proud of how I made that $10.00 go further. I had an addiction! I couldn’t admit it then, but I did. I had it bad. I purchased things, then hid them in the back of the closet so if my husband asked me, “Is that new?” I could say, “No, I’ve had it for a few months.” Man, addictions make you lie and even justify “I was not lying, I did buy those things months ago.” When you try to hide something for a while with Jesus living in your heart, conviction and the Holy Spirit eats you up from the inside. One day as I was going to the mall, Jesus asked me, “Why are you hiding from me?” “Why is it, when you feel sad, you go shopping and feel so guilty afterward?” I tried to ignore Him, you know how you do that. You pretend it was you thinking that, yet, you find yourself answering this little voice, right? He wanted an answer, even though He already knew the answer. I said, “Lord, I am not sure why I am hiding from you?” Then He responded, “You are afraid that I really don’t love you, is that right?” I couldn’t face it and I couldn’t deny that’s how I really felt. What I did, I admitted I had a shopping addiction and needed Him to fill the void because I didn’t know how. And, He did. But that question lingered in my heart for years. He knew how I really felt, I was afraid to ‘really’ trust Him. Jesus proved Himself to me over and over again, circumstance after circumstance. I began to open up more and more of my heart to Him. I shared with Him more of my hurts, disappointments, and problems with Him, then I’d watch how He responded. Sometimes, He answered my prayers as I had hoped and other times as He saw best. Through each pain and trial, He was asking, “Tresca, will you TRUST ME?” Intimacy is not easy as I mentioned before, it’s SCARY! Our heart cringes, and says, “If Jesus will not love me or be there for me, who will?” For many of us, we hide in things, people, places, or church activities. But our hearts and souls are never satisfied! We try different things trying to ease and soothe the pain and discontentment but nothing will work. Can I recommend your cure; JESUS. Just turn your heart to Him and tell Him whatever you’re feeling or thinking. Only in Him will you ever find relief.

 

Where are you hiding today? Jesus knows because He is right there with you and in you, just waiting for you to join Him in your room of need because He is Your Hiding Place.

 

 

Prayer: Thank you, Lord Jesus, for calling me to yourself for intimacy. I truly admit I am afraid of opening my whole heart and soul to you. I still believe lies somehow that says, “You can’t be trusted, Lord.” I will not say this out loud, but you already know how I feel. But, Jesus, please guide me from this place in order to find my hiding place in you, so no matter what trials or circumstances come my way I will run to you. AMEN