My girlfriends and I were talking as we exercised in the pool one day about food, weight, and exercising as we always do. And, it is interesting how our conversations always seem to change as we look at our husbands. You see, it always appears our husbands can either eat whatever they want and they don’t feel bad about it. Or if they gain a few pounds, the weight falls off instantly once they exercise. We didn’t feel it was fair! So, I sat and listened to the ways they were trying to get their husbands to change their diets, exercise more, or join them in their weight management programs. As I listened, these are some of the strategies they were using:
“I tell my husband, if we go here or just do this exercise routine, we will be together.”
“I prepare foods I know he doesn’t like in hopes he would change his mind and eat healthier.”
“I hint for him to attend health fairs, exercise groups, and others with me to get him to buy into my plans.”
“I remind him how old we are getting and I will be stuck taking care of him if he doesn’t do something about his health.”
Do these statements sound familiar? And, guess what? None of their strategies were working. What is a wife or woman to do you ask? Can I share a bit of wisdom I have learned over the years… men hate being nagged. Of course we don’t call it nagging, we call it being concerned or caring for him. But, I tell you when a man feels pinned in, controlled, disrespected, or he hears the voice of his mother from us; his male ego is being threatened. So, he holds his ground to get us to back off. He will use his own strategies to do so, like ignoring us, changing the subject, or go into another room. If we have said something too many times, he may say to “Back off.”
Our Lord wrote about wives who utilize this behavior to get what we want and control our husbands’ actions and attitudes. Our behavior is called “Nags.”
Proverbs 21:9 – [It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a (nagging) brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 21:19 – [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a (nagging) contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 27:15 – A continual dropping (nagging) in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Proverbs 25:24 – [It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a (nagging) brawling woman and in a wide house.
In the above Bible verses, different versions the phrase nagging means brawling, contentious, and like a waterspout dripping in the house continually. We can wear a man out, right?
Today, I want to share wisdom I have discovered that has worked for me over the years and still does. First of all, I talk to my husband, heart to heart, about my concerns. Secondly, I turn to my Lord and give my concerns and fears to Him. After all, they are MY CONCERNS. I am reminded of a beautiful scripture that always put my heart and mind at ease.
But I want you to understand that Christ is the HEAD (authority over) of EVERY MAN, and man is the head of woman, and God is the head of Christ. I Corinthians 11:3
What an amazing relief to know… Christ is their BOSS! He knows how to get their attention! Finally, I trust the Lord to do in my husband whatever pleases Him, not me. My husband may change or he may not. But, whatever he chooses to do is between my husband and the Lord…HE BELONGS TO HIM, RIGHT? I discovered when I chose not to follow wisdom, I was:
So why be all those things when we can enjoy, peace, grace, love, and life with our Lord and with our husbands, right? My girlfriends and I shared how our husbands don’t complain about our issues as much as we murmur and complain about theirs.
My sisters in Christ, let us continue to allow our behavior to reflect who we really are, CROWNS TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, to bring joy and pleasure to Him. Also, CROWNS to our earthly husbands to bring joy and pleasure to them!
BECAUSE WE ARE THE BRIDES OF CHRIST… May His life, love, patience, longsuffering, and grace flow continually through us to our husbands regardless of their choices. Amen