GRACE WHISPERS

The Power of Our Father

 

Grace Whispers: Father said, “I can see the struggles of your soul. I hear the longings of your heart to change. I know how you got where you are, and I know what happened in the darkness. Everyone else sees only the leaves of your tree, but I see its roots.”

 

My new book, “My Return Home to Innocence,” (found on Amazon), Chapter 6 title, “My Daddy’s Touch,” describes how a father can negatively or positively impact a child’s life throughout their lifetime. This chapter shares my experience of being molested by my father and how it changed the trajectory of how I saw myself and how I saw others in my life.

 

Over the years, as a counselor, I understand how easy it is for us to make judgments about people without knowing the environment where they grew up or the challenges they had to overcome in their lives. One powerful lesson my Lord Jesus taught me, The Counselor of the Universe, “My Love, behaviors are just the leaves on the tree… to heal the tree, get to its roots.” With that in mind, I came to understand we are all like little trees planted in our parents’ gardens, their job is to protect us, care for and nurture our spirit, soul, and body so we can grow up whole and healthy trees to express Christ’s life in the earth.  But what if the child’s father is not present in the home, or if he is, but neglects to provide the right love and care the child needs to grow up healthy or is distant, allusive, passive, or nonchalant about his duties as a father? What happens to the child?

 

 The Role of the Father

Mothers are truly the foundation and strength of many families! In a lot of homes, mothers had to fulfill the role of both mother and father which has been difficult for them to do, because they weren’t created to be a father, only a mother. The father’s role as designed by Our Father is to establish a sense of security, stability, protection, guidance, sense of self- worth and authority in his child’s life. He is also to declare to his children their identity. He is to demonstrate and impart to them wisdom and what it means to BE the name given to them.

 

My father gave me my first identity. He demonstrated what it meant to BE a TRENT. To BE a TRENT, my father showed me was one who was creative, smart, wandered from thing to thing, and person to person. One who defied authority, broke the law, smooth-talker, used people with his charm to get what he wanted…one lost soul. He neglected his responsibility to his children by rejecting, abandoning, abusing, and leaving them to fend for themselves. The four of us were part of the sad statistic of fatherless children. (Please note: Before my father died, in his later life, settled down, remarried, had my younger sister, and gave his life to our Lord Jesus Christ).

 

Researchers have shown most children rejected, abandoned, abused, or neglected by their father, even if he is in the home, suffer emotionally, psychologically, and especially spiritually. Here are ways they impact children:

 

• Children’s diminished self-concept and compromised physical and emotional security (children consistently report feeling abandoned when their fathers are not involved in their lives, struggling with their emotions, and episodic bouts of self-loathing) (hatred, disregard for themselves or the opposite trying desperately to prove their worth to their father by overachieving, excelling in life, and becoming workaholics)

 

• Behavioral problems (fatherless children have more difficulties with social adjustment, and are more likely to report problems with friendships, and manifest behavior problems; many develop a swaggering, intimidating persona in an attempt to disguise their underlying fears, resentments, anxieties, and unhappiness)

 

• Delinquency and youth crime, including violent crime (85% of youth in prison have an absent father; fatherless children are more likely to offend and go to jail as adults)

 

• Promiscuity and teen pregnancy (fatherless children are more likely to experience problems with sexual health, including a greater likelihood of having intercourse before the age of 16, foregoing contraception during first intercourse, becoming teenage parents, and contracting sexually transmitted infections; girls manifest an object hunger for males, and in experiencing the emotional loss of their fathers, egocentrically as a rejection of them, become susceptible to exploitation by adult men)

 

• Drug and alcohol abuse (fatherless children are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, and abuse drugs in childhood and adulthood)

 

• Exploitation and abuse (fatherless children are at greater risk of suffering physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, being five times more likely to have experienced physical abuse and emotional maltreatment, with a one hundred times higher risk of fatal abuse; a recent study reported that preschoolers not living with both of their biological parents are 40 times more likely to be sexually abused)

 

• Physical health problems (fatherless children report significantly more psychosomatic health symptoms and illness such as acute and chronic pain, asthma, headaches, and stomach aches)

 

• Mental health disorders (father absent; children are consistently over-represented on a wide range of mental health problems, particularly anxiety, depression, and suicide)

 

• Life chances (as adults, fatherless children are more likely to experience unemployment, have low incomes, remain on social assistance, and experience homelessness)

 

• Future relationships (father absent; children tend to enter partnerships earlier, are more likely to divorce or dissolve their cohabiting unions, and are more likely to have children outside of marriage or outside any partnership)

 

After reading this research data, it makes so much sense, why my life was so out of control even though there were people in my life to love and encourage me; I was missing my father. My heart longed and craved for having love, protection, and healthy authority in my life… every child’s heart does. Because my father sexually abused me and I didn’t realize it until I was in my 50s, I always lived in constant fear of feeling unprotected, needy, and alone. When the heart longs for the acceptance, affirmation, and love of our father, we cover up with layers upon layers of activities, knowledge, and things to make us FEEL SAFE, IMPORTANT, AND IN CONTROL. But it won’t last, so we add increasingly more layers until hopefully one day we get tired and cry out to our Heavenly Father for help… like I did.

 

Our Father/Abba Father (Abba translated in English as – Daddy, Papa)

Even though I lived as a statistic of a fatherless child, I discovered one day, after giving my heart and life to my Lord Jesus Christ that I had a Father, who has always loved me and never stopped loving me, before the day I was born… OUR FATHER LOVED ME!

 

ON JULY 26, 1979 I WAS BORN AGAIN AND RETURNED INTO HIS

 ARMS OF LOVE!

 

 

 

 

In the Bible, we first hear of God as being OUR FATHER from the lips of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Gospel of Matthew. Remember when He was teaching His disciples to pray, and they used to always pray to THE ALMIGHTY GOD.

 

 Matthew 6:9, Jesus told us to call God no longer God because He is OUR FATHER (pater). When you pray, call Him Father (nourisher, protector, upholder, the originator of your life, the one who provides good things for His family). Who art in heaven, not in the sky, but lives in a heavenly realm where you live too. We are seated with Christ NOW in a Heavenly place. (Ephesians 2:6) Because He is spirit and we are spirit too. Our Father lives in His kingdom within us. (Jesus reminded His disciples of the kingdom within us, Luke 17:21)

 

Jesus introduced His disciples to a Father who was not far off (up in the sky somewhere) but one who was close, live close, who longs to take care of them and live INSIDE THEM. Jesus became GOD IN HUMAN FLESH! He made the invisible God of the Old Testament visible to us so we can really see what God OUR FATHER is really like. Remember, the words Jesus kept telling His disciples. “Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me who is doing the works?” John 14:10

 

Jesus also called His Father ABBA, an intimate name for Father; the Aramaic name. In English, we say, Daddy, Papa (French), Popeye (Portuguese) and, PapA (Italian).

 

Mark 14:36 – Jesus said in the Garden of Gethsemane, ABBA FATHER, ALL things are possible for you! Take this cup away from me! But not my will but Your will be done.

 

 Apostle Paul in the New Testament shares the intimate Father he came to know. Paul said, He is a Father to be reverenced and honored, but never fear in the sense of being afraid to talk to Him, share our hearts with Him, love, and adore Him.

 

Galatians 4:6 – Because YOU ARE SONS! God sent His Spirit the Spirit of His Son to live IN YOUR HEARTS. He is doing something; He is crying out to ABBA FATHER.

 

 MY TRUE IDENTITY IS WITH MY DADDY, OUR FATHER; I WAS ALWAYS HIS! HE HAS PROCLAIMED WHO I REALLY AM AND WHOSE I AM! We have an Amazing and Loving Heavenly Father who lives within us 24 hours a day. His ears are always open to us as we talk and share our hearts with Him. He is one of love, kindness, goodness, but one who disciplines us, always in love. His name is ABBA! Our Daddy and Our Papa. What a joy and wonder it is to walk and talk with Him every moment of our lives. He created us to enjoy us and live His perfect life through us. Thank you, Daddy, MY PAPA!