CELEBRATING 60 YEARS OF LIFE!!

Part 2

 

 

I am 60 now and still growing in the love and grace of my Lord Jesus Christ! For this blog, I want to continue to reflect on what I have learned about people, marriage, and my husband’s discovery these past 60 years. I still have my illnesses in my brain, two brain aneurysms, and the atrophy which limits my processing. But, my Lord is MY LIFE, He alone sustains me.

 

 PEOPLE

 

• The Journey of Discovery – we are all on a journey of discovery to uncover the truth of who we really are. Like a treasure hunter in search of exquisite jewels, some of us will search until we find “The Treasure,” our New Life hidden in the Abundant Life of Christ in our earthen vessels. While others want what the world has to offer… money, fame, prestige, positions, comfort, and temporary enjoyment. Yet, when we get these things, we are discontented and search from thing to thing, never really satisfied, only pacified.

  

• In Search of Love – the greatest need man and woman have is to be loved. We try so many ways to get that deepest need fulfilled, only to fail repeatedly. The deepest love that can only fulfill us, is experiencing the Love of our Father, our Lord Jesus, and our Holy Spirit. No human being can ever fill that place in our hearts where Divinity was created to live. We will try desperately to get our family members, spouse, children, and friends to fill it. We place our demands, expectations, and desires upon them and get disappointed when they don’t measure up.

  

• Human Beings are just that, Human Beings – remember we are but dust, hewn by the precious hands of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. We were created in weakness to be totally dependent upon them to meet our needs each day, never upon our own strength or each other. As human beings and children of God, because of our frailty, we experience sickness, trials, loss, death, and other challenging circumstances. What we offer each other amid them is love, support, encouragement, and companionship.

 

• Offenses, Misunderstandings, and Hurts – we will get hurt, disappointed, be misunderstood, and feel rejected by each other… most of the time not intentionally. However, it takes love and grace to forgive, extend mercy, compassion, and to give grace to each other when we fail or come short because the Lord is working His purposes in all of us.

 

• Love and Forgiveness – are not options for me! They are the commandments of my Father! Because He has forgiven me of my whole lifetime of sin and offenses against Him and others, I must be willing to love and forgive others when they hurt, offend, use, and even abuse me. That never mean all relationships will be restored, but the walls of anger, resentment, hurt, judgment, and retribution within me are removed. The Lord becomes my defender and protector.

 

 

MARRIAGE – The Beginning

 

At the beginning of our marriage, we were young, naïve, and really didn’t know much about marriage. We didn’t have strong role models to follow or anyone to give us guidance from their own experiences about what it meant to be a husband and wife. We trusted our Lord and Holy Spirit to teach us and sustain us through the turbulent years when I was sick and Tony had his own struggles from his childhood to overcome. Despite our pain, our Lord remained faithful even when we failed Him over and over again.

 

MARRIAGE – After 36 years

 

After being married for 36 years and two remarriages to my Beloved because of my mental illness, I have learned so much about marriage and want to share a few things I have learned.

 

• Marriage a Gift – marriage is a gift of love to be shared with each other. The love we receive from our Father, Lord Jesus, and Holy Spirit are to be expressed, enjoyed, and given to each other freely without fear. As we unwrap His love and life to us personally each day, we get to invite each other to the intimacy we share with them. Marriage was never designed to serve our own selfish needs and satisfaction, but theirs.

 

• Marriage a Purifier – marriage is beautifully used by our Father to reveal how the selfish flesh uses us to get our needs met through each other rather than by Him. We try to change, manipulate, and control each other to make each other conform to our ways. But our Lord allows frustrations, disappointments, rejections, and unmet expectations to take the focus off of each other, to draw us to Him. He wants to conform us to His Ways.

  

• Marriage a Revealer – in marriage we can’t hide from each other as we do with others. We can put on the happy face, the kind, and spiritual façade, but in marriage, we see each other as we really are, blemishes and all. Marriage becomes a place, to be honest, and deal with our struggles rather than hide them.

 

• Marriage a Place for Safety and Intimacy – marriage is to be a place where we are “known” by each other without fear or judgment. It is to be a place where we feel safe and protected from the world. Wives greatest desires are to feel “loved and protected” and Husbands greatest desires are to feel “respected and needed.” It took me years to learn this because I grew up with strong independent women who felt they could manage life on their own without the help of a man. I have learned how to meet my husband’s greatest needs and understand his own Love Language.

  

• Marriage a Place for Sharing – we often share our thoughts, feelings, and desires with others, but marriage was created to be the place where we share our hearts with each other more than others. Sometimes, we have violated each other’s trust so fear has built its wall between us. When we disarm fear by talking about our issues, we can rebuild trust which is the foundation of marriage.

 

• Marriage a Place for Caring – in a cold and sometimes hostile world, we need someone to care for us and care about us. Marriage is a sacred place where we can feel safe, loved, assured, and cared for. A touch, a kiss, a big hug, words of encouragement, someone to spend time with, someone to help us heal when we are sick, and someone to be there when life overwhelms us. Our Father provided us with the Gift of Marriage to share with each and care for each other.

 

MY HUSBAND’S DISCOVERY

 

• Priorities – I used to believe that my priorities were: The Lord, marriage, church, family, and work. But I have discovered that The Lord Jesus Christ is NOT my priority He is MY LIFE. John 14:20 in the Amplified version of the Bible says it this way,  ^“On that day [when that time comes] YOU WILL KNOW for yourselves that I am in My Father, and YOU ARE IN ME, and I AM IN YOU.” Now I know, My Lord CAN’T and WILL NEVER leave me nor forsake me!” 

 

There is so much to talk about and the things I have learned during these past 60 years. It feels like I just woke up and came into a beautiful place in my soul where I can now hear and see my Papa’s face and hear His voice more clearly. I am still on a journey of discovery until I leave this earth and reach home.

 

I pray these two blogs of reflection help you in some beautiful way.